We Didn't Do It
by MelanieeeR
Summary: Cristina’s bored and needs entertaining. In comes Alex, who after a pay off, agrees to play one innocent little prank on Meredith. What they both didn’t count on was Meredith’s plan of revenge, which can only insure a prank war like no other prank war.
1. Condom, Condoms, Condoms

'**We Didn't Do It'**

**Summary:** Cristina's bored and needs entertaining. In comes Alex, who after a pay off, agrees to play one innocent little prank on Meredith. What they both didn't count on was Meredith's plan of revenge, which can only insure a prank war like no other prank war.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Grey's Anatomy, there would be none of this spin off talk and Derek would have joined Meredith and the rest of the tequila pity party. So by now you should know that I'm not Shonda Rhimes. Story title is course named after a song and that song is 'We Didn't Do It' by the ever talented Tegan and Sara.

**Authors Note:** This is by no way a romance story between Alex and Meredith, it's an intern story.

* * *

**Chapter One - Condoms, Condoms, Condoms**

* * *

"You have no idea how much I would kill to have a semi-trailer run into a something big and possibly flammable at this very moment" Cristina Yang announced to the entire resident locker room.

Necks bent as soon as the words reached their ears and Cristina was met with equally shocked and repulsed faces.

"You are one twisted chick, Yang" Alex Karev told her, chuckling.

"Shut it, Evil Spawn. Hasn't the mother ship abducted you yet?" She replied as Cristina stretched out on the bench, kicking George O'Malley out of the way.

He stumbled, slightly pissed but too tired to care.

"You're extra grouchy this morning, why is she extra grouchy this morning?" he asked Izzie, who just shrugged her shoulders in disinterest.

"She didn't scrub in yesterday" Meredith told him quietly. Realisation crossed his face was he muttered an 'oh'.

"It's not just yesterday, but the day before that and the day before that. For god's sakes this hospital has been quiet for too long. It's not natural" she huffed again, making Izzie laugh.

"I swear I will kill you and take your money at the same time if you don't shut up Barbie".

In response Izzie glared back and started a quiet conversation with Meredith, with George intently listening without them even noticing. Cristina catching on that the three other interns were no longer interested in her surgery deprived self; she casually moved over to Alex, the answer to her increasing boredom formed into her head.

"What do you want Yang?" He questioned her tiredly, her antics wearing him down even though their shift hadn't even started.

"Look I'll give you one hundred bucks to entertain me" she said dryly as if it was a completely normal thing to ask someone.

The humour was not lost on Alex laughed and told her that did she expect him to do it.

"Come on, one harmless, even innocent, little prank. Its easy money and you can even pick your victim".

Alex paused and considered his options; the last few days had been the boring and the furthest thing to eventful and the idea of making a fool of one of his fellow interns in front of everyone and then placing the blame on Yang was very tempting…

"$200 and you have a deal".

"Fine" Cristina begrudgingly agreed as Alex held out his hand.

"You'll get paid _after_ you do it. So who's going to be your victim?"

The pair turned to watch the three other interns who were all casually conversing with their heads in their lockers.

"Well not O'Malley because he'll go running like a baby, the little hot head. Izzie would be pissed and maybe even threaten to hurt me, Grey would do them same, the only difference is that Izzie can actually follow through, Grey's all talk" He reasoned out load, sizing each of them up with a somewhat smug aurora about him.

"Reminds me of someone I know" Cristina muttered, crossing her arms over her chest knowing with every fibre of her body that Karev had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"So what's your plan" she asked him, leaning against the lockers as he opened his locker and replied,

"Simple" and with a smirk and pulled out a fistful of condoms out of his locker and closed it.

Casually he walked up behind Meredith, who was now dressed in her light blue resident scrubs with her white lab coat, and dropped the condoms carelessly in her pocket (and on top of her stethoscope) and moved back to Cristina, his smirk wider than ever before and his face also a shade redder.

"Congratulations you aided her with enough protection to have a week long marathon with McDreamy, so what? That's not entertaining for me; in fact it's slightly torturous".

"Will you just shut up and wait, just wait and you'll see" he finished as Bailey walked in the locker room and herded them off to begin rounds.

One case of excessive hiccups and a post-op patient later Bailey and her interns shuffled into Dr Sloan and Dr Shepherd's pre-op patient's room to be greeted by the male doctors themselves who were acting friendly but clearly keeping their distance from each other.

Both looked uncomfortable in the presence of each other that it was a relief to see Bailey and her interns; it meant that their torture was nearly over.

"Grey, what have we got?" Bailey barked in the only way that Bailey could and Meredith moved into action. At the back of the group Cristina and Alex stood on their toes knowing that the moment she reached into her pocket was the moment that the shit could potentially hit the fan.

Meredith rattled through the patient's notes, pointing out this and that, the case it self wasn't that interesting except for the fact that it included brain surgery with the assistance of a plastic surgeon, besides that it was all details.

"Dr Grey, do you think you could perform the exam on Miss Stanton?" Sloan asked her as George's head found it's way to Izzie's shoulder as he dozed of slightly from boredom. Behind them Alex and Cristina increased the blood flow to their toes by forcing themselves higher into the air, the beat of their hearts were erratic with anxiety.

This was it.

Meredith nodded her head and reached for her lab pocket. Alex and Cristina couldn't breathe as in slow motion Meredith's hand went in her coat pocket and the next second the sound of light plastic sputtering on the floor was heard through out the room by everyone except for the patient; who was oblivious to the whole thing.

George loudly as he woke to Izzie's surprised giggles.

Cristina and Alex at first laughed out load to then try and contain it with muffled giggles that could only be heard when it hit a high not and came out as a kind of choking sound.

Bailey's eyes hadn't moved and Sloan muttered a 'dude' as he laughed and even McDreamy himself chuckled slightly.

Meredith's cheeks blazed red as she realised that she had dropped something, but they were on fire when she realised what they were. She shot her head up and met Alex's eyes that were smirked at her and in an instant it all clicked.

It wasn't hard to figure out what the narrowing of her eyes nor the glare she shot at Alex meant.

'You're dead'.

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_**Yes or No?**_

_**Please review and tell me what you think!**_


	2. Revenge is Sweet

'**We Didn't Do It'**

**Summary:** Cristina's bored and needs entertaining. In comes Alex, who after a pay off, agrees to play one innocent little prank on Meredith. What they both didn't count on was Meredith's plan of revenge, which can only insure a prank war like no other prank war.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Grey's Anatomy, there would be none of this spin off talk and Derek would have joined Meredith and the rest of the tequila pity party. So by now you should know that I'm not Shonda Rhimes. Story title is course named after a song and that song is 'We Didn't Do It' by the ever talented Tegan and Sara.

**Authors Note: **This is by no way a romance story between Alex and Meredith, it's an intern story. The ships it goes with are MerDer, Bang and there might be small hints to others but like I said before this isn't romance.

* * *

**Chapter Two - Revenge is Sweet**

* * *

Meredith Grey was furious but she wasn't going to let that consume her. One of the things she had learnt as a child was that anger was a powerful thing when it was focused on to one thing and that one thing for Meredith was teaching Alex a lesson.

How dare he do that, and in front of her bosses, one of which was her boyfriend. Seriously, condoms? What a pervert!

Bailey had clicked her tongue and Mark and Derek had just laughed. That of course had resulted in Mark offering her a way to relieve her bent up 'horniness' and Derek stopped laughing. He left his comments until the next time he had seen her by herself.

Even though her cheeks had permanently flushed a tomato red, Meredith Grey wasn't going to give Alex the satisfaction of her embarrassment. She was going to get her revenge and it didn't take her that long to form a plan.

All it took was a quick trip to the nearest supply closet and a stroll down to the patient pharmacy.

Moving along the small aisle she saw her object desire a foot away and could barely contain her excitement. As she was paying for the small bottle of Nair something caught her eye and Meredith couldn't believe it. This was almost too good! Now all she needed was the wait for the perfect time.

That time came during her lunch break. Alex had been on call the night before so he was asleep in one of the on call rooms and Bailey had just offered her the reason she needed.

Making a pit stop to the ladies room, she filled the bucket full of cold water and slipped out and quickly into the on call room.

Alex was alone, snoring his head off on the bottom bunk. Bitting her lip to prevent any noise from escaping her, she tiptoed up to him and poked him softly in the arm.

Nothing.

Gaining more courage Meredith poked him again but this time harder.

Nothing.

Doing it for the third time, just in case, Meredith poked him with the sharp part of her nail in his chest.

Alex snored loudly but that was it. Asshole.

Pulling out the bottle of Nair, Meredith opened the lid and placed it over Alex's right eyebrow. She was doing him a favour; he did after all have very hairy eyebrows.

Pressing down on the bottle, foam softly formed over the hairy eyebrow and fizzed as it connected with his skin.

No response from Alex.

Placing the cap back on the bottle, Meredith read the instructions,

Nair, Hair Removal; leave form for 10 to 15 minutes for hair removal, do not exceed 20 minutes. Rinse to remove.

15 minutes she waited, keeping time on her watch. Finally time was up and after checking that all evidence had been removed she picked up the bucket and dumped the cold water over Alex and the bed.

Jumping in fright, "What the…?" was the reaction she got until he realised what happened.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Alex roared furious.

Keeping her face neutral Meredith simply replied,

"Bailey asked for you twenty minutes ago, it's not my fault you snore loader than a sailor. That was my last resort" before she turned and left him there soaking wet.

She didn't even try to cover the smile that broke out on her face as she walked away from the on call room. Part one; complete.

"Twenty minutes I have been waiting for you Karev, and why are you wet?" Bailey questioned her intern, pissed that he had ignored every single one of her pages and even more pissed that he was standing there dripping water all over her surgical floor.

"You know what, I don't want to know. Change and then scut"

"What? I was on the Anker case, that's not fair he's having surgery this afternoon, I was scrubbing in!"

"Well next time I page you'll come faster then wont you" she sneered, knowing something was different about him, but not saying anything.

With what was such a lousy prank Meredith had still managed to get him kicked off a case, a surgical case which was something that had taken him 3 days to finally get.

God she angered him.

Peeling off the damp clothes, Alex threw them into the waste bin and picked up his spare pair of scrubs. Thank god he had brought in a spare pair otherwise he'd had to steal from O'Malley.

His pager went off and Alex walked out of the locker room, absent-mindedly wondering if his scrubs were always this itchy.

Wait a second, his skin was on fire. Jamming his hand down his shirt Alex scratched his stomach in hope of relieving the itch. Then his back started burning, then his arm and then his bum. Oh dear god.

Jumping strangely Alex barrelled into the nearest bathroom, ignoring the disturbed looks from everyone in the hallway.

Within a second his shirt was off and next came the pants. Dragging them down to his ankles he heard the door open and turned to meet the shocked face of Addison Montgomery.

Her eyes rolled back slightly and started this flickering thing as she stumbled over her words.

"I… Oh god, I'm so… thought… ladies…. Bathroom, oh…. God".

Alex's face burned as she ran out and left the door flapping. Looking around he took in the lack of urinals and the sudden appearance of sanitary napkin dispensers stuck on the wall.

Of all the rooms in this hospital to run into and rip his clothes off he had to jump into the women's bathroom.

"Karev?" came Addison's small voice from behind the door.

"You do realise that this is the women's bathroom, don't you?"

"Yes, I do" he replied, his blushing growing brighter as he stood, no top and pants down to his ankles naked.

"How long do you think you'll be? I really need to go".

"I think I need a moment" he yelled back at her.

Hearing the clack of her heels die down, Alex stared at the heap of pale blue scrubs on the floor and looked into the mirror. That's when his lack of right eye brow caught his attention.

His skin was red and irritated but not one single strand of hair remained.

Kicking the wall was sudden anger, he screamed,

"This is war Grey!"

* * *

_**Not sure about the timeline, it's set after Meredith and Derek get back together and before everything went in to Dark and Twisty over drive.**_

_**Nair is a brand of hair removal crème**__**/ foam and that was itching powder in Alex's scrubs if you didn't get that.**_

_**Glad you all enjoyed it!**_

_**Review!**_


	3. Calling All Tuna

'**We Didn't Do It'**

**Summary:** Cristina's bored and needs entertaining. In comes Alex, who after a pay off, agrees to play one innocent little prank on Meredith. What they both didn't count on was Meredith's plan of revenge, which can only insure a prank war like no other prank war.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Grey's Anatomy, there would be none of this spin off talk and Derek would have joined Meredith and the rest of the tequila pity party. So by now you should know that I'm not Shonda Rhimes. Story title is course named after a song and that song is 'We Didn't Do It' by the ever talented Tegan and Sara.

**Authors Note: **This is by no way a romance story between Alex and Meredith, it's an intern story. The ships it goes with are MerDer, Bang and there might be small hints to others but like I said before this isn't romance.

* * *

**Chapter Three**** – Calling all Tuna**

* * *

Alex's day had gone from bad to worse. After Meredith's string of pranks (that had landed him the main topic of today's gossip, apparently Addison had seen more of him that anticipated), he had of course been stuck on scut with all the nurses and their looks and laughs, had to borrow O'Malley's spare scrubs because Grey had poisoned all of his with itching powder and by the time he had managed to get down to the cafeteria all that was left was a tuna sandwich; he hated tuna, with a passion.

Tuna, it was disgusting, felt disgusting and smelt disgusting. Seriously, once you ate tune everyone knew about it because the stench didn't leave you until you encountered a very hot shower.

And what was worse than smelly tuna was the gossip ring. The vultures hadn't left him alone all day and as Alex sat in his little corner he realised that everyone was looking at him, whispering and laughing. Slamming his tray down on the table Alex stalked out of the cafeteria, with his smelly sandwich and just walked.

Without having a clue as to where he was going, Alex finally threw himself down on the park bench, over looking the car park and sat in the drizzle.

There were no nurses, other interns, attending, patients and better yet no Meredith Grey.

Angry, Alex ripped open the plastic casing of the sandwich and shoved a corner of it into his mouth, then realising that he had just put day old tuna in his mouth he spat it out, and glared at the sandwich, hating it's very existence, and then looked up, searching for the quickest and best place to dump this shit sandwich.

Meredith's crappy old jeep that she refused to part with was on the other side of the car park but the walk in the drizzle seemed worthwhile.

Checking to make sure that the coast was clear, Alex held the tuna sandwich in his hand, jogged over to the crappy truck, punched the bonnet open to reveal the dirty worn out engine.

Surveying the sight before him, Alex quickly assessed that the engine was the hottest location and dumped the sandwich next to it, the bread staining black as it collided with the grease.

Suddenly that tuna sandwich didn't look so bad, it was even handy.

Wiping his hands on his scrub pants, Alex closed the bonnet and walked back into the hospital, prepared to start planning his _real _prank.

-

Tongues fought the on-going war as the pair made their way clumsily to the front door of her place. It had been a long shift for both of them but tequila shots and a non-stop supply of scotch had made their jobs an after thought. The only thing they cared about was each other and more importantly the proximity of each other's body.

"I need to get… keys" Meredith panted, breaking their connection and fumbling with her bag, the haze of lust and alcohol made locating her keys harder than it should.

"Found them" she giggled, now attempting to put the right key in to the small keyhole.

"About time" was Derek's husky reply.

"Shut up".

And that was the end of their conversation and the mixed up tango they had started all the way back at Joe's continued up to her bedroom. The stairs proved to be difficult but they didn't notice as they stumbled and giggled their way to her bedroom door.

She was pinned against her bedroom door with the door knob digging in her back as they continued their on going tango, pausing only slightly to open her bedroom door.

Meredith turned the knob that was digging into her back and opened the door too transfixed on Derek to notice the small pile of paper that fell to her feet.

"What the…" Meredith turned around and ran her hand against the interior wall of her bedroom, trying to find the light switch. Finding it she flicked the switch and nearly fainted at the sight of her once clean room.

"Oh my" Derek chuckled, taking in the sight.

Meredith's bedroom was covered, top to bottom with paper, and not just any paper it was phone book paper and it was everyway. At least one metre high, as Derek walked into the room is snaked its way up to his waist and made him look like he was drowning in yellow paper.

"Who did this" he asked laughter evident in his voice and Meredith whacked him in the arm, which caused him to laugh out louder.

"He's big and ugly, starts with Evil and ends with Spawn, that's who" Meredith said sourly as she, for the first time that the light had been turned on, walked into the room and realised that the paper extended to the bathroom and was even in the bath and sink, she didn't want to even think about the toilet.

"Karev did this?" Derek asked, picking up on the male intern's nickname.

"I am going to freaking kill him" she exclaimed, opening her wardrobe door to only have a new wave of paper add to the growing ocean of yellow.

"This wouldn't have anything with him exposing himself to Addison would it?"

"It's called itching powder and I didn't count on him striping in the ladies bathroom to then have you ex-wife walk on him. That was just an added bonus".

"Why did you prank him in the first place" Derek laughed again.

"Believe it or not but I'm not the type to carry a year's supply of condoms in my pocket just for the fun of it".

Derek's laughter doubled at Meredith's dark reply and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I thought it was a kinky but subtle hint" Meredith elbowed him sharply in the ribs, but couldn't stop his laughter.

"How am I going to clean this up? And more importantly how am I going to get him back?"

"You'll think of something, besides there's a particularly large, soft couch down stairs with your name on it" He told her, grabbing her arm and dragging Meredith out of the room, with her kicking and screaming.

* * *

_**Sorry about the length, my teachers are killing me with the amount of homework. This I**__** will admit isn't my best writing, but I'm ecstatic that you are all enjoying this. Keep the lovely reviews coming! **_

_**Review! **_


	4. Male Seeking Male

'**We Didn't Do It'**

**Summary:** Cristina's bored and needs entertaining. In comes Alex, who after a pay off, agrees to play one innocent little prank on Meredith. What they both didn't count on was Meredith's plan of revenge, which can only insure a prank war like no other prank war.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Grey's Anatomy, there would be none of this spin off talk and Derek would have joined Meredith and the rest of the tequila pity party. So by now you should know that I'm not Shonda Rhimes. Story title is course named after a song and that song is 'We Didn't Do It' by the ever talented Tegan and Sara.

**Authors Note: **This is by no way a romance story between Alex and Meredith, it's an intern story. The ships it goes with are MerDer, Bang and there might be small hints to others but like I said before this isn't romance.

* * *

**Chapter ****Four – 'Male Seeking Male'**

* * *

"What the hell happened to you?" Cristina exclaimed at the sight of her person who had just stepped into the locker room, ahead of her roommates; Izzie and Alex. 

"Don't know what you're talking about" she replied stiffly, as she dumped her bag to the floor with a dull thud and yanked open her locker.

"Seriously, I get the whole pink hair thing when you were a teenager I honestly do. But this, I mean surgeons don't wear pink let alone have pink hair" Cristina told Meredith, as Izzie huffed a 'hey' while she pulled off her pink sweater.

"Rounds start in 10 minutes people" Bailey yelled out from the door, clip board in hand, pen in the other.

"What the hell happened to you two" she questioned, eyebrows raised at Alex's lack of eyebrow and Meredith's new hair colour.

"Experimenting" Alex grunted, making George snort with laughter.

"Dye mix up" Meredith told her, her head buried inside her locker.

"Fix it" Bailey grunted as she left the room, with George, Izzie and a pissed Alex following her.

"You don't dye your hair" Cristina mocked Meredith, who stood up frustrated with all the questions.

"He put dye in my conditioner. I should have thought of that! And not only that he got me twice in a row!" she stormed, stripping off her jeans and pulling out half of the contents of her locker in search of her scrub bottoms.

"What else did he do?" Cristina learnt her hip against the lockers as she watched her friend.

"He filled my room up with pages from the phonebook. I mean who does that. Did he seriously sit there the entire time that I was out pulling apart phone books? I mean who seriously does that!"

"Wait didn't you have a date with McDreamy last night?" Cristina asked, biting down her lip to prevent any laughter.

Meredith shot her a look and Cristina increased the pressure on her bottom lip.

"The point it that I'm losing my touch" Meredith argued back, putting her scrub top over her lavender V-neck.

"The point is that he messed up your McSex with McDreamy. For that he gets double points".

"This is not a game; this is me teaching Evil Spawn a lesson".

"Oh right. And you've done a good job of that so far. You've removed one of his eyebrows and contaminated his clothes with itchy powder. A five year old could do that. What are you doing?"

Meredith was frantically searching through 'Seattle' magazine, her phone in one hand and half of her locker on the floor.

"Hello, earth to Meredith".

"I'm looking for a number" she replied, flipping to the back of the magazine.

"Your looking for a hookers number?" Cristina asked confused, as Meredith scanned though the call adds. Opening her phone she typed in a number and held it to her ear, listening to the dial tone.

"Hi. I was wondering if I could place an add in your magazine" Meredith spoke clearly into the phone, ignoring Cristina's confused look.

"Personal add. Yes that's right. My name's Alexander Karev. That's K-A-R-E-V. Yes that's right. Ok, I want it to read 'young ex-athlete turned doctor looking for some fun'. Yes, oh that sounds good. No straight. Phone number is 8796-5742 oh and pager number is 8794-4432. Add both. Ok, thankyou".

"You placed a hooker add for him".

"It'll be in tomorrows newspaper, magazines and on the internet. Let's see how he likes that shall we" Meredith said, throwing all of her junk back into her locker before leaving the locker room.

Cristina sat on the bench, looking from the magazine to her own phone. Looking up slightly she pulled the magazine closer to her and opened her phone.

"Hi. I just called earlier about a call add I want to place in tomorrows paper. Yeah, the I made a mistake before and I was wondering if I could get it changed. The name is Alexander Karev. Yes. In it your have orientation is straight? That's not true. I want it to read male seeking male. Yes that's right. Yes this is me. Look I have a cold so my voice is a little bit high pitched, you don't have to make a big thing about it. Yes, ok".

Quickly she kicked the magazine away as Bailey stormed in the room.

"Yang, rounds started 3 minutes ago".

"Right, sorry".

"Why are you so happy? aren't you in the pit. People who are stuck in the pit aren't giddy" Izzie whinged, dropping her food tray on the table with a snap as she pulled up a chair next to Alex.

"The sun is out, I'm not on call tonight and I have some hot chick sending my dirty text messages, why shouldn't I be happy. And I don't go giddy!" Alex sneered, as his mobile phone came alive with a joyfully annoying ring tone.

Turning up his nose slightly he chuckled to himself as his eyes danced across the small mobile screen, before shoving it under Izzie's nose.

Izzie, annoyed at the invasion of personal space, shot him a glare before reading the message. Her eyes soon went wide with surprise and disgust before she pushed the electronic device away.

"That is… oh my Lord…!" she mumbled still in shock.

"Now that's my kind of girl" Alex said with glee as Cristina and Meredith joined the table, Cristina asking,

"What you finally get Nurse Debbie to do the horizontal tango with you? And I thought that women had standards".

"Read this" was all Izzie said, snatching the phone out of Alex's hands and under Cristina and Meredith's nose.

Snorts of laughter and a few muttered 'Oh my gods' followed,

"That was so not written by a women" Meredith commented,

"You really know how to pick them Evil Spawn" Cristina added, whistling.

"I know that you're used to bring girls like that back to your whore house, and I'm totally ok with that, seriously that's great, but if that shank takes one step into my place of sleep I will hurt you" Izzie warned him lightly, point with her index finger whilst taking a bite out of her salad sandwich.

"Didn't know that I needed your approval, but thanks, I'll keep that it mind" he sneered back as once again his phone came alive and danced along the table top.

"Let me see that" Cristina demanded, snatching the phone out of Alex's hands after he whistled.

Cristina's face was mutual for a minute or so until she made a slight gagging noise and tossed the phone back to him.

"That is so not legal" she muttered, sliding down into her chair, a sour look on her face as she pushed her food away from her.

"I think I've lost my appetite".

"That's a different number" Meredith told him,

"So unless you're girlfriend has five different sim cards, you've being stalked by horny women".

"That was so not written by a girl" Izzie muttered.

"I think I need to wash my eyes with soap and water. I mean that works when you swear, doesn't it?"

"Look, some dude isn't sending these to me. Hello, I'm not gay" Alex told them, slightly pissed.

"You keep telling yourself that Evil Spawn. Just remind me never to borrow your phone, I really don't know where it's been" Cristina told him.

Alex glared at her once again and stood up, leaving the three girls behind, giggling their heads off.

"Have you guys seen the paper today" George asked, coming up to their table.

Izzie shrugged and Cristina just grabbed the paper out of his hands as Meredith replied 'no'.

"Well, well, well, this explains the text messages!"

"What can I help you with sir?" Alex asked the man.

The guy appeared to be in his late 30's, a total bum by the look of his tattered old plaid clothing and over grown. According to the nurses he needed sutures, where Alex did not know.

"I'm fine, just a small cut, it'll heal over" he moaned, and Alex got the distinct impression of scotch mixed with bourbon off his breath.

"Well I'm a doctor and the nurse said you needed sutures so I have to have a look" Alex wasn't really in the mood for this, he had a date with a hot woman who sent the dirtiest text messages he had ever read… dealing with a drunken bum was putting a serious down on his mood.

"Fine" he said, standing up and turning around so that his bad was to Alex. In one swift motion he yanked his pants off, making them fall to his ankles and revealing a rather large and deep cut on his right buttock.

"Ok, right, I'll… just… go…. And…. Equipment" Alex muttered, dazed as he walked off, half looking for a suture kit and half wanting to get the image of this guys pale arse and wrinkly dick out of his mind.

Pulling the curtains around the guy Alex returned, loaded with equipment.

"Do you have anything for me to read?" The bum asked, bent over the bed so that Alex could stitch him up.

"If you tell me how you got this, sure".

"You stitching up my arse, do you really want to know the story?"

"Not really" Alex replied, flipping a ' Seattle' magazine in front of the guy and returning back to his rear end.

"What's your name again?"

"Dr Karev" Alex grunted, all reading sick of the guy, granted he was drunk but really.

"Alexander Karev?"

"Why?" Alex asked perking up slightly, he knew no bums, so how would this guy know his name?

"A Dr Alexander Karev has posted a personal add in this magazine, I was just wondering if it was you. Karev isn't a common last name and all. Plus I have a mate who is, you know…. Gay" in his drunken stupidity the guy whispered the last part.

"Let me see that" Alex snatched the magazine out of the guys hands and quickly scanned the add, before screaming a profanity that would make his mother's hair curl and stalking out of the Emergency Room.

"Hey, what about my bum?" his patient cried as Alex retreated away to the shocked looks of surrounding nurses and doctors.

"You posted a pimp add!" Alex roared at Meredith, Cristina and Izzie who were all sitting at Joe's.

Izzie choked on her drink as Meredith bit her bottom lip and Cristina looked away.

"You filled me room with paper, when I was about to get laid!" she shot back, her eyes narrow.

"You posted a gay add, in my name! That went through out the whole country".

"Technically just the state of Washington" Cristina corrected him and after meeting his glare she retreated slightly.

"Oh look there's George and Callie… throwing darts! Why don't I just…" Izzie scampered, moving out of the firing range.

"Refills?" Cristina cried, also retreating away from the wrath of Alex and sharp mouth of Meredith.

"You are in too far over your head Grey. I swear I'm going to get you so bad that you wont be able to show your face in Seattle Grace ever again" he roared, moving closer to her, his face red with anger.

"Make sure you wear a condom this time Alex. We don't want another Syphilis out break know don't we" She fired back, standing up and also stepping closer to him so that their chest were touching and Alex could smell the mixture of alcohol and beer nuts on her.

"Excuse me?" came a voice.

Pulling away from each other, Meredith and Alex separated to look at the guy who had interrupted them.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I'm looking for a Alexander Karev, I'm supposed to be meeting his here".

The colour from Alex's face was immediately stripped a away and somewhere someone had turned the music off. Everyone was silent and looking at him, but to be precise they were looking at a shocked Alex, the man and Meredith who had tears forming in her eyes and was clearly struggling with her laughter.

"And you are?" Alex asked the guy, his voice wavering slightly.

"Phil, or in cyberspace 'P'. Look is he here? Because if he isn't I have some other guy on the other side of town interested".

Alex numbly shook his face and the guy walked out of the bar. Everything was still silent, except for the soft choke from Meredith, whose laughter had doubled.

"You can laugh now" Alex muttered to her.

"Oh thank god, I think I drew blood" she panted, feeling for blood on her damaged lip.

Gasping for breath, her laughter rang through out the bar and the music was turned back on and people went back to their conversations.

"You're going to regret the very day that you started this" he told her, Alex's voice dangerously low.

"That sounds like a threat" Meredith replied, stopping her laughter and lowering her voice to the same pitch and his.

"Oh yeah, it's a threat".

* * *

__

**_I've had the idea for this prank for soooo long and I guess I got excited and so typed… so even though you've waited for like a week here is an extra extra extra long update which is my longest update out of all of my stories… I'm like a proud momma. _**

**_Still interested? _**


	5. Do You Want My Muffin?

'**We Didn't Do It'**

**Summary:** Cristina's bored and needs entertaining. In comes Alex, who after a pay off, agrees to play one innocent little prank on Meredith. What they both didn't count on was Meredith's plan of revenge, which can only insure a prank war like no other prank war.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Grey's Anatomy, there would be none of this spin off talk and Derek would have joined Meredith and the rest of the tequila pity party. So by now you should know that I'm not Shonda Rhimes. Story title is course named after a song and that song is 'We Didn't Do It' by the ever so talented Tegan and Sara.

**Authors Note: **This is by no way a romance story between Alex and Meredith, it's an intern story. The ships it goes with are MerDer, Bang and there might be small hints to others but like I said before this isn't romance.

* * *

**Chapter ****Five – Would You Like A Muffin?**

* * *

"Has Izzie been baking again?" Meredith asked Alex, noting the basket of freshly made muffins that sat on the breakfast bar of her kitchen.

"Suppose so. Take one now if you want. I'm giving them to the nurses, just the sight of them makes me sick to the stomach" he grunted.

Meredith shrugged her shoulders half heartedly and slouched against the counter top as the coffee machine started to produce the elixir of early mornings.

"I'm going" Alex announced, putting down the newspaper he had previously been reading and picking up the basket of muffins on his way it.

"This stuff is toxic".

Meredith was too tired to answer and just let his comment slide as Alex walked out of the kitchen. Dully she watched the black coffee form inside the clear glass jug and eagerly poured the coffee into her mug and grabbed one of the leftover muffins from the counter top.

She was halfway through the muffin when Izzie stalked into the kitchen, making a beeline for the coffee pot.

"Did someone buy muffins? If you wanted some you could have just asked I mean that has some many preservatives in it compared to mine" she said confused, watching Meredith munch on the muffin.

"Didn't you make this?" Meredith asked, frowning slightly.

"No" Izzie replied, inspecting another muffin closely, before concluding that it was safe and taking a huge bite from it.

"Why would you think that?"

"The dirty muffin trays in the sink, the mix master which is still out on the counter and besides Alex said you were into the whole muffin making thing again".

"Why would he say that?" as the words left Izzie's mouth Meredith instantly dropped the muffin and moved away from it as if it was poison.

"You don't think…?" Izzie was cut off as Meredith spat out the piece of muffin in her mouth into the sink.

"Alex wouldn't poison a muffin, that's going just a tad bit too far and you feel fine don't you?"

"Yeah I guess…" Meredith started to speak until a muscular wave rippled through her stomach and her palms started to sweat.

"I am going to kill him" were her last words she was run out of the kitchen and into the single toilet downstairs.

"Meredith, are you ok? Oh god" a similar wave pasted through Izzie and her porcelain skin turned a sickly shade of green.

"Move I need the bathroom!"

"Go upstairs!"

"As if I'll make it, why don't you go upstairs?"

"Izzie!"

"You're the reason why he used laxatives!" Izzie screeched through the timber door as beads of sweat started to form on her forehead.

"Drugging muffins with laxatives isn't my thing Izzie, it's yours!"

"Don't you dare peg this on me, hurry up!"

"You pressuring me isn't helping Izzie"

"My bladder is going to fucking explode is you don't open the door!"

"Go up stairs!"

"Alex clogged that toilet last night; a rat wouldn't even go near that!'

"My bathroom!"

"Right, this is still all your fault!"

"You didn't make those did you?" a young female nurse asked Alex, eyeing the basket full of muffins with mild curiosity.

"Me, cook muffins? Nah, Izzie Stevens did, I just needed to get some out of them house. Muffin fumes can kill you" he replied bashfully, leaning against the nurse's station, closer to the young nurse who giggled slightly.

"Dr Stevens is a good cook" she continued, flirting back as she swayed her hips side to side and Alex couldn't help but grin at her.

"There, all yours" he told her, putting the basket on the counter top and winking at her at the same time.

"You have to have at least one; it's not fair for me to take all of them".

"If you insist" Alex sent another wink her way as he reached in for a muffin and the nurse turned a deep shade of red before walking a walking off with a slight stumble.

"Would you like my muffin?" He asked Yang, as Cristina and George walked over to him, all three waiting for Bailey.

"Is that some twisted reference to your Mc Man Stick?" Cristina asked in a distorted semi shocked but humorous voice.

"Wait did you just calls him penis a…"

"O'Malley if you finish that sentence you're going to wish you hadn't! Where's Grey and Stevens?"

Bailey stood behind them, not happy.

Cristina propped her elbow on top of the counter of the nurse's station and smirked at Alex who was trying to come up with an excuse.

"Who knows" he stuttered.

Bailey glared at him slightly as George just looked at him confused and Cristina's smirk grew.

"See either one of them, tell them I'm looking for them" she told them sternly, snatching the muffin from Alex's hand and taking a big bite.

Alex's face fell and the colour was instantly stripped from his face.

"What are you waiting for? A personal invitation?… move!" sent her interns scampering off as for a brief moment a wave of nausea rippled through Miranda's body and she had to place a hand on her stomach to settle herself, but it quickly past.

"He is so fucking dead that it is not fucking funny" Izzie groaned, cradling her stomach with her hands as another wave of nausea passed through her body and produced small beads of cold sweat on her forehead.

"I'm going to kick his ass so hard that he won't be able to walk for a month, let alone had sex for a year".

"Not if I get to him first!" Meredith yelled through the toilet door, her voice was soon followed by the sound of a flushing toilet and her pasty white face appeared from behind the door.

"You trying to teach him a lesson is what got us here in the first place… oh god" Izzie scrambled to her knees as another stronger wave rushed through her body.

"No wait, false alarm".

"Let me get this straight, you're saying that the pimp add wasn't good enough?" Meredith asked, confused and slightly dazed from dehydration.

They had been each struggling with Alex's prank for three hours now and there were no signs that it was going to finish anytime soon. They were both lying on the upstairs landing, sweating with adrenaline and their stomach muscles throbbing with pain, both desperately trying to work out how to get him back.

"No, that was funny. No laxatives involved whatsoever. We just need something to follow through with otherwise he'll get cocky and think it's a one off".

"We? You're not seriously considering joining this are you?"

"Hello the guy is currently passing around drugged muffins to the staff and patients at Seattle Grace, I'm not the only one who is suddenly involved. And besides, I don't back down from a challenge".

"What are you suggesting?"

"A friend of mine went to Lebanon a few years ago and brought me back this alarm clock. At first I thought it was cool but the thing rings five times a day and it's permanently stuck on 'pm' because I've knocked it too many times. Apparently it's a Muslim prayer clock that chimes every time they are supposed to pray. If we stick it in the roof above his room it'll take him a few days to find it" Izzie explained calmly, taking solace in a moment of peace.

"Good idea, only one problem"

"What's that?"

"Who's going to put it in the roof?"

"I'm starting to feel better actually… no wait".

The slamming of the toilet door came next as Izzie raced inside and Meredith rolled onto her side and closed her eyes trying to forget the pounding in her head.

"So fucking dead!"

_**The drugged muffins are based on a true story. A few years ago the seniors at my school went on year 12 retreat with brownies that had either laxatives (medicine to help constipation) or pot in them. It was hilarious because they also got come teachers. And the Muslim prayer clock is also true; my dad actually had that trick played on him when he was younger. **_

**_This story only has around 10 chapters in it, so were half way folks!_**

_**Review!**_


	6. The Wrath of Dr Richard Webber’

'**We Didn't Do It'**

**Summary:** Cristina's bored and needs entertaining. In comes Alex, who after a pay off, agrees to play one innocent little prank on Meredith. What they both didn't count on was Meredith's plan of revenge, which can only insure a prank war like no other prank war.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Grey's Anatomy, there would be none of this spin off talk and Derek would have joined Meredith and the rest of the tequila pity party. So by now you should know that I'm not Shonda Rhimes. Story title is course named after a song and that song is 'We Didn't Do It' by the ever so talented Tegan and Sara.

**Authors Note: **This is by no way a romance story between Alex and Meredith, it's an intern story. The ships it goes with are MerDer, Bang and there might be small hints to others but like I said before this isn't romance.

* * *

**Chapter ****Six – 'The Wrath of Dr Richard Webber'**

* * *

"Has anyone seen… Dr Bailey?" Chief Webber exclaimed as he walked into the Free Clinic of Seattle Grace and was greeted with the most obscene scene ever.

The Free Clinic that had been created by a Surgical Resident and funded by a Surgical Intern was no filled with patients, in fact there appeared to be not one single patient inside the clinic. Instead nurses, a few technicians, two interns and the Chief Resident, Dr Bailey, herself were huddled up in the beds and soft patient chairs.

"What is going on here?" he asked with his hands on his hips as the nurses and looked at him with mild fear.

"There appears to be the flu or something spreading throughout the hospital staff" Izzie Stevens offered with raised eyebrows from her corner where she and Meredith Grey were lying on each other, their faces slightly flushed.

"Flu my ass, I know what an overdose of laxatives feels like, and this is feeling pretty damn close to it" Bailey sneered from her bed where she was sitting on the edge, her lab coat discarded on the end of the bed and her hair sticking up in all different directions.

Izzie's face dropped and she averted her eyes as Richard looked between her and Bailey.

"You expect me to believe that you and half of my nursing staff as well as two interns overdosed yourself with laxatives and then decided to turn up to work today, just for the fun of it".

"It was those muffins, blame it on the muffins!" said a nurse that had just returned from the bathroom.

"Muffins?"

"Nurse Joy on the 3rd floor had a basket of muffins, nice muffins too that was until my stomach started to churn and the toilet had become my new best friend" another commented and both Izzie and Meredith shrank, feeling Bailey's eyes on them.

"What did you to do?" Bailey asked the two interns, turning on them in typically Bailey manner, which made they both shrink smaller into the ground.

"Muffins? I don't know about any muffins, do you Meredith?" Izzie said perking up and trying her best to fake her and her friend's innocence.

"Noooo" Meredith answered her eyes big.

"You're lying, you want to know how I know, 'cause you're bad liars… both of you!"

"Bailey, are you suggesting that interns are poisoning my staff was laxatives?" Richard questioned, raising his voice so that everyone in the clinic heard him.

The sea of nurses glared at Izzie and Meredith who just shrugged their shoulders and attempted to get off the floor, but one look from Bailey and Chief froze them to this spot of them floor.

Bailey looked back at the Chief but remained silent.

"Staff meeting, NOW!" he fumed, stalking out of the clinic, leaving Bailey behind with a small 'Yes sir'.

"Never in the many, many years that I have worked in a hospital have I ever had to deal with laxative-drugged-muffins, I have never even seen a blueberry muffin in a hospital let alone a laxative muffin. Now of you are leaving until _ someone _explains to me what is going on!"

His heads of OB, Neuro, Cardio, Plastics and Chief resident all sat in front of him, shocked faces and all, and didn't answer him.

"I've heard of the laxatives, itchy powder, condoms and missing eyebrows and I'm sure there's plenty more that has yet to reach my ears. And out of all of this there has only been two common denominators" Richard continued, glaring at each of his staff before finally looking at Derek Shepherd, who as soon as he realised that Richard was looking at _him_, become very uncomfortable.

"Why are you looking at me, you think _I'm_ behind all of this?" he exclaimed, straightening his posture as Burke, who was sitting next to him, turned away so that no one could see him smirk and Sloan had a coughing fit from behind him.

"You might not be but Meredith is and I have known Ellis and her for a long time so I know that someone would have provoked her for her to participate in pranks such as these, so spill, whatever you know"

"How do you know that I know anything" Derek argued, rising his eyebrows and pointing her finger gently at Richard who just glared back at him.

"Ok there was this one incident which I did witness but I was harmless and beside, it wasn't even at this hospital"

"Where ever it started it has spread to my hospital, making it my business and this prank was not harmless"

"Look all I know is that Meredith was angry at Karev and more to the point I sent a whole day removing loose phone book pages from my girlfriend's bedroom".

Burke snorted in his coffee, Addison bit her lower lip and Sloan had another coughing fit as Bailey buried her head in her hands.

"This stops now. It you catch any person pulling any pranks you report them to me" Richard demanded, banging his fist on his desk.

"Does that include patients?" Sloan questioned from the back of the room.

"Yes" Richard yelled loudly, making everyone jump.

"Ok" Sloan quickly replied, following Addison as she made a beeline for the door.

As she opened the door with Sloan, Derek and Burke pushing behind her, Alex Karev slipped on something spilt on the floor and quickly grabbed on to the two nurses on wither side of him and brought all three of them to the ground with a loud thump.

Sloan whistled loudly as the others closed their eyes in sympathy pain.

"Sucks for him".

Izzie Stevens, who was in a better mood than before happened to walk by at the moment and stood in front of Alex who was now rubbing his bum in pain.

"Glee Alex, that looked like it hurt" she said sympathetic and Alex just glared back at her.

"You're feeling better then" he asked sourly, not looking in her eyes

"After watching that yes, a lot better thanks, need a hand?" she asked politely extending her hand for Alex, who took it without a second thought and was zapped with a shock of electricity in return.

"Ouch" he exclaimed, pulling his hand away from Izzie's but forgetting to let go, making Izzie fall to the floor and into the sticky stuff on the floor.

"You're dead" Izzie exclaimed, peeling the zapper off her palm and throwing it at Alex, and then attempted to rid her self of honey.

"You're the one who put honey on the floor" he screamed

'You put laxatives in MY muffins!" she yelled back

The pair continued to yell as the attendings looked at each other.

"We weren't here" Sloan offered and the other's quickly agreed as they quickly walked off.

* * *

_**Sorry for the wait, this story is a side project to my other story 'How To be Dead' and so it's stupid and just for fun so updating this is second propriety to 'How to be Dead'. Last week was hectic with my birthday (yesterday, 16**__**th**__**), assessments, my up coming overseas holiday and of course my test for my learner's driving permit. Can't promise on the next update but if you see 'How to be Dead' on the recently updated list then it's not too far off.**_

_**Reviews make me smile!**_


	7. Pin Ups, So Last Century

'**We Didn't Do It'**

**Summary:** Cristina's bored and needs entertaining. In comes Alex, who after a pay off, agrees to play one innocent little prank on Meredith. What they both didn't count on was Meredith's plan of revenge, which can only insure a prank war like no other prank war.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Grey's Anatomy, there would be none of this spin off talk and Derek would have joined Meredith and the rest of the tequila pity party. So by now you should know that I'm not Shonda Rhimes. Story title is course named after a song and that song is 'We Didn't Do It' by the ever so talented Tegan and Sara.

**Authors Note: **This is by no way a romance story between Alex and Meredith, it's an intern story. The ships it goes with are MerDer, Bang and there might be small hints to others but like I said before this isn't romance.

* * *

**Chapter ****Seven – 'Pin Ups, so last century'**

* * *

Alex Karev was trying. In all honesty he was trying harder than he had ever tried in his life. He was trying to come up with some way to knock that confident smirk of Izzie Steven's face, and that was hard when Izzie wasn't affect by most things.

So like all other people faced with a dilemma he procrastinated… and drank some beer… and procrastinated a bit more, until the only idea that formed in hi head was a prank he had already played on the cheerful blonde.

The days of Bethany Whisper were a tender topic for Izzie Stevens as Alex had discovered the one time early in their internship when he was posted photocopied pictures of her around the hospital. Well those posters were still in the back of his locker and one quick goggle of 'Bethany Whisper' resulted in a website especially for 'Whisper' fans. He had the resources now he just needed a plan.

So after a long headache causing night Alex had been placed once again on Mark Sloan's service and instead of researching the skin graft like he should, Alex Karev was flaunting his time by dedicating it to another cause.

"Karev are you done?" Sloan appeared at the door, scaring Alex and instantly making the young male jump in fright.

"Down there tiger… did I tell you to look up porn or skin grafts? Cause I'm sure I said skin grafts… I would remember porn, I always remember porn" Mark commented, walking up to the computer screen for a closer look.

"Wait… isn't that Stevens" Mark asked Alex who was still caught between being caught by his boss and shocked that he seemed okay with the whole thing, almost bored.

"Yeah, she is… well technically was a lingerie model"

"So you're having your own perve session because she rejected you?" Mark guessed, raising his eyebrow curiously as he leisurely sat down on the edge of the desk

"What… no! I don't like Izzie like that, I'm… no" Alex stuttered, shocked and repulsed at the same time

"Relax, I honestly don't care who you are trying to do, I don't; just don't do it near me. So why are you on 'Bethany Whispers' website if it's not for your own… dirty pleasures?"

"Revenge, that's what" Alex muttered bitterly under his breath and Mark nodded his head sympathetically.

"Well if you are planning on posting naked posters of her around the hospital, I really should rethink our arrangement here"

"Why, you don't like it?"

"I would have liked it, like last century. In this century right here right now you can do so much more" Mark boosted, shining his fingernails on his lab coat

"Like?"

"Like every time someone clicks the start menu on any of the system computers they'll be treated to one hundred pop up adds each displaying the fine ass of one Izzie Stevens"

"How" Alex asked the older man, trying hard not to look too impressed

"Simple" Sloan replied airily, leaning over Alex to the computer keyboard and opening up the program 'Notepad'.

After typing in something he continued his mission as he darted from one internet browser to the next and finally from one system file to another. Alex simply placed his hands behind his head and waited for Sloan to finish.

"Done, click the start button if you dare. But I'm not going to be the one to clean them up… and besides" he said with a cocky grin as he stood up from his place on the bench and walked towards the door, slightly turning to give Karev his final words of wisdom "The computer systems have a screen device so as soon as you click that they know you've been looking up porn. I'll have a dry cappuccino thanks, better make it a double".

Alex smiled bitterly as the attending walked off. Curious and not really believing that Sloan was the computer nerd he claimed to be, Alex quickly looked around him, then hungrily turned back to the computer monitor, clicking the 'Start' button, not really preparing for the explosion Sloan said it would be.

How wrong he was.

Instantly hundreds of barely clothed pictures of Izzie Stevens popped up on his screen and Alex swore to himself as they multiple with every click.

"Crap!"

"Hey Alex, have you seen the chart for… oh my God, you sick son of a bitch" Izzie screamed, noticing the repeated picture of one of her bikini shoots and Alex's hand on the mouse. Drawing back slightly she slapped across one cheek with a loud 'whack' and then slapped the other cheek with an even harsher 'whack'.

* * *

_**Anyone still reading?**_


	8. The Various Uses of Tampons

'**We Didn't Do It'**

**Summary:** Cristina's bored and needs entertaining. In comes Alex, who after a pay off, agrees to play one innocent little prank on Meredith. What they both didn't count on was Meredith's plan of revenge, which can only insure a prank war like no other prank war.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Grey's Anatomy, there would be none of this spin off talk and Derek would have joined Meredith and the rest of the tequila pity party. So by now you should know that I'm not Shonda Rhimes. Story title is course named after a song and that song is 'We Didn't Do It' by the ever so talented Tegan and Sara.

**Authors Note: **This is by no way a romance story between Alex and Meredith, it's an intern story. The ships it goes with are MerDer, Bang and there might be small hints to others but like I said before this isn't romance.

* * *

**Chapter ****Nine – 'The Various Uses of Tampons'**

* * *

"What is that smell?" Meredith asked randomly, wrinkling her nose as she lent back into the car seat.

"Smell?" Derek questioned, glancing at her sideways, whilst still trying to keep his eyes on the road.

"Oh don't tell me you can't seriously smell it" she exclaimed, pinching her eyes closed for a second and then opening them again as she waved her hand in front of her face.

"No I…" the words died on his lips as the smell instantly attacked his nose.

It was like something had died; his stomach churned as the smell entered his system and played games with his breakfast. It stung the back of his throat and started a coughing fit that immediately sent tears to his eyes as all his senses tried to block out the foul odour.

"What died?" he managed to croak out, making his girlfriend laugh

"I have no idea oh God that's bad, I'm opening the windows"

Derek heard a shuffle as Meredith wound down her passenger window and stuck her head out the window, sighing with relief as fresh air filled her lungs. He then attempted to follow suit. Sweat filled his forehead as the increasing pressure of the smell, the need for fresh air and trying to remain on the right side of the road made the winding movements of the manual windows harder than it already was.

"Why the fuck don't you have power windows" Derek muttered darkly, making Meredith laugh at him once more as she turned the air conditioning up in a mad attempt to get rid of the smell.

"It stinks of fish, is it just me or does my beautiful car now reek of dead fish?" Meredith exclaimed, once again pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I have come to the conclusion that your prehistoric car needs to be replaced" he replied dryly, running a hand through his curls as the cool breeze from the outside drizzle brushed across Derek's face.

"Well believe it or not but not everyone can have a fancy silver BMW; with leather seats, power windows and what not… I mean what's so special about your car? I happen to like my car"

"Well for starters it doesn't smell like fish" Derek pointed out, instantly earning a slap in the arm.

"Yeah well you're the one who is cleaning out what ever it is from underneath the bonnet"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are"

"Where does it say I have to?"

"You're my boyfriend, plus I have pre rounds! Besides I hate fish and you love it" Meredith argued back, raising her eyebrows before smirking at her boyfriend, who closed his mouth and instead continued to glare at the road in front of him.

"If I remember correctly you happen to like fish as well…" he started slowly but instantly stopped as Meredith cut him off

"Details" Meredith replied dismissing it with a wave of her hand.

"Why would there be fish underneath your bonnet?" Derek asked after a moment's lapse of silence.

"I don't know…" Meredith retorted slightly pissed, until she suddenly realised _who _would put fish under her car bonnet

"… Oh I am so going to kill him!" she stormed, instantly silencing Derek who immediately understood who she was referring to.

Alex felt good. Sloane had let him scrub in on a skin graft and Alex had the best view in the theatre, not to mention he got his first hold of the scalpel for a plastic's procedure. It wasn't only the surgery that had put him on this high; he had a date with a pretty young nurse called Jenny, had been the only intern to actually get a case that entire shift and Yang had been assigned to labs. Life was good.

The rain had cleared and for once the evening sun shone down on Seattle, adding an even bigger spring to Alex's step. Bailey had allowed him to go home early which meant that for the first time since he had moved in with Grey and Steven, Alex had the whole house to his self. Now all he needed was to get in his car, take a bath with his favourite type of beer and wait for eight o'clock to swing by when he would meet his hot nurse at Joes.

The only problem was that Alex couldn't find his car. He was sure he parked it in the main hospital car park. But it wasn't there. Nor was it in the visitor's car park.

Frustration began to work its way into Alex's system as he walked back into the main car park of Seattle Grace Hospital. Where the hell could his car… wait?

Something caught the corner of Alex's eye and instantly his hopes for a quiet afternoon were flushed down the toilet. There in the exact car spot he had left it this morning was Alex's car; except it didn't look like Alex's car… it looked like a moving advertisement for women's hygiene products.

In disbelief Alex walked up to his car and took in the array of pads that covered the bonnet of his car and its windows. There was no question of who did this.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed angrily, kicking his car tyre and instantly regretting it was his foot throbbed and Alex knew he had a broken his toe.

"Bitch!" he exclaimed again, earning shocked looks from people passing by who quickly hurried their steps away from him. He continued to swear and jump around like a tormented trapeze artist until Alex finally calmed down and simply took out his keys and opened his car door, nothing worse could happen.

How wrong he was.

What could only be millions and millions of tampons flooded out of the car door and onto the concrete, creating a waterfall of pink and white bullet shaped objects that were appearing to never end.

Blood thumped through Alex's ears and he flung the door shut loudly, to only have the door bounce back out and hit him in the knee. immediately losing his temper Alex gave what could only be described as a war cry and belted the door closed, not paying attention to the marks he created in the door nor, the looks from the surrounding people who had started to gather around.

In the crowed George past Cristina fifty dollars in cash, a young blonde nurse who had a look of regret on her face and Richard Webber stood their not looking pleased.

* * *

**_Have a Look at my new story 'Moving in Shadows!'_**

_**I am so sorry about the wait! I hope everyone is still reading!**_


	9. Evil Controller of Elevators

**'We Didn't Do It' **

**Summary:** Cristina's bored and needs entertaining. In comes Alex, who after a pay off, agrees to play one innocent little prank on Meredith. What they both didn't count on was Meredith's plan of revenge, which can only insure a prank war like no other prank war.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Grey's Anatomy, there would be none of this spin off talk and Derek would have joined Meredith and the rest of the tequila pity party. So by now you should know that I'm not Shonda Rhimes. Story title is course named after a song and that song is 'We Didn't Do It' by the ever so talented Tegan and Sara.

**Authors Note: **This is by no way a romance story between Alex and Meredith, it's an intern story. The ships it goes with are MerDer, Bang and there might be small hints to others but like I said before this isn't romance.

* * *

**Chapter Nine – 'Evil Controller of Elevators'****

* * *

**

"What are you doing?" Cristina exclaimed, coming to a complete stop in the middle of the intern locker room.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Meredith retorted defensively, fiddling with the lock of Alex's locker. At her feet a plastic fish tank filled with small brown-greenish creatures sat innocently.

"Are those grasshoppers?" Cristina asked timidly, taking a small step towards the tank as her bag was dropped off her shoulders and to the ground.

"Yep" Meredith replied, an evil grin appearing on her face as she turned her concentration back to the locker. Her face was scrunch up into a grimace as her fingers danced across the cold surface, trying unsuccessfully to unlock the padlock.

Cristina ignored her friend and took another small step towards Meredith and the tank, her eyes not moving away from the tank as a grasshopper jumped onto the clear plastic wall of the tank and Cristina jumped back in fright.

"Ah ha!' Meredith exclaimed triumphantly as a small tick was heard and the padlock fell to the floor. After getting no response out of Cristina, Meredith turned to look at her friend, to find her attention entirely focused on the grasshoppers of her feet, a small giggled formed in her throat.

Gently Meredith tapped the tank with her foot, making it slide along the lino floor towards Cristina. Shocked Cristina jumped in fright to only then quickly step back a few steps and then trip over the wooden bench.

Meredith's laughter filled the room as Cristina landed on her ass, cursing as she fell.

"Oh. My. God. Oh the pain" she whimpered as the laughter over took her body and Cristina glared up at her, pissed.

"Shut up" she muttered, standing to her feet and stalking off to her own locker.

"You didn't tell me you were scared of grasshoppers!"

Next thing Cristina knew, Meredith was leaning against the locker beside her, a massive grin gracing her face and her eyes twinkled in the neon glow of the hospital lights.

"I'm not scared" she argued defensively, changing out of her street clothes.

"Says the women who just jumped at mile in the air and fell over a bench at the sight of them"

"It wasn't at the sight of them, you kicked them at me! Besides, so what if it have a tiny, slightly small phobia of grasshoppers"

Meredith giggled again, making Cristina roll her eyes frustrated.

"Grasshoppers? Seriously?"

"Yes seriously. It's just that they are so small, a jump… and those small beady, black eyes" Cristina shivered violently which only made Meredith giggle again.

"It's not funny!" she exclaimed, Slamming her locker shut.

Meredith walked away from Cristina's locker and back to Alex's exposed one.

"I bet you're scared of something pathetic"

"Yeah. But not grasshoppers" Meredith replied with a grin as she picked up the tank and leant it against Alex's opened locker, her fingers gripping the top of the tank, about to open it up.

"What ado you think you're doing?" Cristina repeated again, horror struck at the thought of the grasshoppers being unleashed in her locker room.

"I'm putting them in Alex's locker, what do you think I'm doing?" Meredith was confused at her question.

"No you can't! Cause once you open it, they be everywhere and my locker is in here too!" she exclaimed frustrated.

"Okay, I won't do that then. I'll give them to Derek… to use for fishing bait" she added at the look on Cristina's face.

"Thank you" she replied relaxing slightly.

"It's ok… you just owe me a prank now" Meredith replied off handed, closing Alex's locker and placing the grasshoppers in her locker at was already unlocked.

* * *

"Karev, you're late" Richard Webber grunted, the vein on his forehead pulsating at an uneven rate as he glared at the young intern, who muttered an apology and quickly scampered with his head bowed to take his seat next to his room mate and recent rival Meredith Grey who mirror Alex's expression of guilt.

"Do I look stupid to you both?" His tone upgraded to a new level of anger as his lecture began, making both interns grimace uncomfortably, expecting the lecture but not the guilt.

"Or are you both complete idiots. You both graduated from medical school, or did I just simply misread that part? Because the rubbish the both of you have pulled these past couple of weeks has been disgusting, something I would expect from a college freshman, not two interns who have nearly completed their first year. I have half a mind to drop you from the program with this behaviour!" Webber exclaimed, louder than before. Meredith's face was absolutely stripped of any colour and Alex whimpered, earning him an extra glare from his boss and side long glance from his peer that had the beginnings of a smirk despite her pale appearance.

"Both your toes are on the line. If either one of you moves an inch both of you will be dropped from his program faster than you can say boo. Do you understand?"

Both Meredith and Alex remained quiet, too scared to even move.

"Now as punishment, and yes Dr Karev you are both being punished. To every staff member in this hospital; from the head of departments to the janitorial staff you are to hand write a formal apology. You are both banned from the OR for a month, and you are to be placed on scut for however long Dr Bailey sees reasonable, that is on top of her own punishments. Am I clear?"

"Crystal" Alex replied with a weak smile.

"Get out of here" Richard Webber dismissed them, sitting back in his seat sighing heavily, looking at Meredith in particular with disappointment, something that Meredith did not miss.

"Well that could have gone worse" Alex muttered as soon as the pair where ear shot out of Webber.

"Speak for yourself" Meredith replied darkly, and Alex quickly frowned, both of them stopping to wait for an elevator.

A small 'ping' opened the metal doors and the pair walked onto an empty elevator, walking to separate corners, arms folded, looking unhappy.

Slowly the elevator started the move but jerked suddenly, coming to a harsh halt, the lights turning off for a second before reappearing within the still elevator.

"What the fuck!" Alex exclaimed loudly, and Meredith stepped towards the control panel, fiddling with the buttons.

After getting no response she sighed and said,

"It's stuck"

"Well not shit Sherlock" Alex retorted darkly and Meredith glared back at him.

"No need to be so pissy"

"Why not, this is after all your fault! Evil controller of the… elevators!" Alex snarled and Meredith snorted at his accusation.

"Evil controller of the elevators, what are you? Five? I didn't do this, if it's anyone's fault it's yours!"

"Mine, oh no. Don't you blame this one me. We wouldn't even be in this situation if you hadn't of stolen one of my eyebrows and filled my scrubs with itching powder!" He yelled and they both walked up to one another, glaring back.

"Oh like you didn't like. You've been pining over Addison for months now, exposing yourself to her must have been a dream come true!" Meredith screamed back, her cheeks flushing with anger as she stood her ground against Alex who was a lot taller than her

"Look why don't you stay on your side and I'll stay on mine. No talking, no nothing" Alex exclaimed frustrated, throwing his arms out and making an invisible line across the mid-section of the elevator; between Meredith and him.

"Fine" Meredith grumbled, walked back to her side and flopping against the elevator wall. Alex echoed her and they both sat their in silence, glaring at each other.

Minutes passed in the same fashion and soon forty minutes had elapsed in total silence.

Once again the elevator jerked and the metal doors widen slightly to reveal and person neither Alex nor Meredith knew, dressed in a fireman's uniform. Richard Webbers voice filled the air, louder than all the other voices that filled the elevator. A crowed had formed outside the elevator.

"Karev, Grey what have you done NOW? Trust you two to get caught in an elevator together" he said his face reappearing and then quickly disappearing and Mark Sloane replaced him, a cocky grin lightening up his face.

"Well, well, well. Looks like I have the job of babysitting you two. Now, now play nice" He said chipper and Alex buried his head in his hands.

"Great now, we have Captain Chlamydia joining us" Meredith muttered darkly, and Alex chuckled softly.

"Derek told you about that?" Mark asked shocked and Alex's laughter echoed through the elevator and out the crack where Mark's head was.

"Oh like you can talk Syph boy" Meredith sneered and Alex's laughter quickly died.

Mark looked between the pair thoughtfully, his perfectly smooth brow creasing as he thought.

"I am sensing some tension here" he stated and both Meredith and Alex turned to stare at him, dumbfounded.

"You're both not taking this own prank thing seriously are you?" Mark asked dubiously, looking between the interns once more, "Seriously? It's just pranks, god, why are interns so emotional!" he commented earning glares from both sides of the elevator.

"Blame him. I didn't start this" Meredith argued, folding her arms over her chest.

"Yes you did. The moment you put that crap in my scrubs was the moment you started this!" Alex retorted, fixing Meredith with a glare.

Outside, in the corridor the yells from both interns floated out gaining the attention of every staff member ho was unaware of the jammed elevator.

"Are they both arguing?" Izzie asked.

Mark stood up from his position on the floor.

"Who needs to pay for therapy when you can get caught in an elevator for free?" he commented, standing next to Izzie and giving her a swift look over.

Izzie wrinkled her nose up in reply as George suddenly looked very uncomfortable.

"Maybe they'll kill each other? Or just rip each other a part, if that happens I am so in on the surgery" Cristina muttered and Mark looked at her disturbed.

"What are those two morons doing now?" Bailey exclaimed, the noise from the elevator now increasing ten fold, before coming to a complete silence.

"Do you think their both dead?" George asked with a little too much enthusiasm in his voice, earning him a slap on the back of the head courtesy of Bailey's folder.

"Really Alex, well if you didn't start this whole mess. Who did…? Santa Claus?" Meredith sneered sarcastically, her voice low and dangerous.

"Cristina" he mumbled, wiping his hands over his eyes.

"Cristina?" Meredith echoed surprised.

"Yes Cristina, she dared me, we'd thought you'd be an easy target. Obviously we were wrong" He added lightly and Meredith frowned

"Cristina?"

"Cristina" he confirmed, looking away almost bored.

Meredith went silent and Alex turned to watch her carefully, trying to figure out what the crease in her brow and the echoing silence meant.

* * *

**_I was going to continue the last part but you'll find out next chapter, which is the final chapter. _**

**_I am really sorry about the wait; I do feel awful for making you wait this long, though your reviews have been fantastic, they are really mean a lot. _**

**_The past few weeks I've had writer's block and then schools been crazy, this week APEC has been happening in Sydney so it takes an hour longer to get anywhere due to Bush's security concerns (btw, any Aussie fans; who doesn't love the Chaser? The stunt with the motorcade and the horse flu at the protest, lmao!, but at least we got a public holiday, so yesterday I wrote most of this and then saw my boys Snow Patrol (2nd time this year!) so yeah, holidays start in two and half weeks so the next chapter will definitely be finished before the beginning of season four! I'm pushing myself to do it. _**

**_Don't forget to review! _**


	10. Under the Sheets

'**We Didn't Do It'**

**Summary:** Cristina's bored and needs entertaining. In comes Alex, who after a pay off, agrees to play one innocent little prank on Meredith. What they both didn't count on was Meredith's plan of revenge, which can only insure a prank war like no other prank war.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Grey's Anatomy, there would be none of this spin off talk and Derek would have joined Meredith and the rest of the tequila pity party. So by now you should know that I'm not Shonda Rhimes. Story title is course named after a song and that song is 'We Didn't Do It' by the ever so talented Tegan and Sara.

**Authors Note: **This is by no way a romance story between Alex and Meredith, it's an intern story. The ships it goes with are MerDer, Bang and there might be small hints to others but like I said before this isn't romance

* * *

**Chapter ****Ten – 'Under the Sheets'**

* * *

Derek Shepherd was greeted with the most peculiar sight as he walked into Joe's bar. His girlfriend and her apparent arch rival were sitting at a bar table, their heads together, looking fairly cheerful barely three hours after being trapped in an elevator together.

"No" Meredith exclaimed,

"Right, and your plan is _so_ much better Grey" Alex retorted,

"Yes my plan is better compared to your idea of… Derek" Meredith exclaimed cheerfully, ending the conversation with Alex immediately, which quickly went to drown the rest of his drink.

"Plans, what plans?" Derek questioned, taking a seat next to Meredith.

Meredith glanced at Alex before replying, "Oh well you see…"

"Fight club" Alex coughed, thrusting his foot into Meredith's shin underneath the table. As soon as his foot made contact with her skin, Meredith's knee belted into the table from shock.

"Ow, crap Alex… I was just about to say that" she groaned at him, sliding her hand underneath the table to rub her shin, "I think it's bruised" she added, glaring at him. Alex made a pout back at her.

"Fight club? You're seriously not going to tell me what the two of you are planning together, after months off… what are you up to?" Derek questioned, raising his eyebrows at his girlfriend, who was suddenly very interested in her drink.

"Nothing" she told him with wide eyes.

"Right. I don't believe you"

"Well you should, I wouldn't lie to you"

"Well that's not exactly true" Alex muttered from his side of the table, Meredith snapped her neck in his direction and kicked him underneath the table, causing Alex to swear in response.

"Meredith…" Derek sighed

"…Derek" she cut him off, smiling sweetly as she took another sip of her drink.

"Look, McDreamy can listen in. Only because we have less than twenty minutes until… you know" Alex butted in, leaning forward once again in his seat, his eyes were focused on Meredith.

"Sure, you can't repeat any of this" Meredith told Derek, pointing her index finger at him.

"You know what, I kind of don't want to know" Derek responded, leaning back in his chair, and stealing Meredith's drink as he observed his girlfriend and her friend talk.

"I have the grasshoppers, do you have the…"

"…key?" Meredith held up the shiny metal object.

"I really don't want to know" Derek muttered to himself and buried his head in his hands, however the two interns simply ignored him.

"Yang wont know what hit her" Alex laughed, taking the key from Meredith's hands and holding it up for himself to see.

"Cristina, you're getting Yang!" Derek exclaimed from his seat and Meredith turned to him patiently.

"Yes, we are getting Cristina" Meredith clarified

"With grasshoppers" Alex added with a sneer

"Grasshoppers?" Derek questioned raising his eyebrows

"She has a phobia thing… for grasshoppers"

"And what are you going to with these grasshoppers?" Derek questioned his girlfriend carefully, already knowing that he wasn't going to like the answer.

"We're going to fill her apartment up with them, see how really scared she is. Well technically, I am going to fill her apartment up, Meredith is going to watch for Yang. How long do you think she will be, I wonder if a 5 hour tape is going to be enough" Alex questioned Meredith

"Tape? Wait, taping this wasn't part of the deal"

"Right, and I'm going to let this opportunity for blackmail material slide? Condoms Meredith, lots of condoms falling on to the Chief's shoes, do you remember that?" Alex told her, his tone sarcastic.

"Yes, of course" Meredith said with a roll of her eyes.

"The embarrassment, in front of your boyfriend and everything"

"The tape will do fine" Meredith added, and Alex smirked, pleased with himself.

"I can't believe this" Derek muttered shaking his head

"Derek, Cristina dared Alex to pull a prank on me, knowing that I would prank him back. She was the instigator for all of this"

"Yang had it coming"

"So you're going to trash her apartment…"

"Who's going to trash whose apartment?" Cristina questioned, cutting Derek off as she dropped into the car next to Alex and started to pick at the nuts on the table.

The whole table fell silent, and Derek smiled slightly watching Meredith and Alex look at each other with identical looks of surprise on their faces.

"Nurse Olivia… she's given Alex the syph again" Meredith told her with a smile ignoring the sour look at had just crossed Alex's face.

"Don't you learn the first time? That thing will fall off if you don't learn to control it" she remarked, and Meredith sent Alex an apologetic smile. Alex himself had turned a slight shade of red.

Stumbling in her apartment, Cristina loudly dropped her bag and coat at the door as soon as she stepped into the threshold of her apartment. The place was pitch black, and she didn't bother to turn the lights on as she drunkenly walked towards her bedroom, he eyes closed as she quietly peeled off her clothing, leaving them on the floor as she walked.

Her bed covers were unmade, and she smiled satisfied slipping underneath the cold, crinkled sheets. Closing her eyes, she allowed the stillness to take over her.

That was until she felt something spasm against her leg. In her drowsiness, Cristina shook her leg and quickly pegged it down to a muscle spasm, until it happened again, and again.

Kicking back the covers annoyed, the cool night breeze past over her exposed skin. Cristina lay there still, feeling something smooth move across her stomach softly. Groaning, she flicked on the bedside table and glanced down at her stomach.

A ghastly silence crept over the bedroom as Cristina lay, barely breathing, watching the pale green grasshopper. Its beady eyes stood unblinking back at her and Cristina barely pondered if it would be better to scream or better to run.

The grasshopper twitched and Cristina's heart leap wildly in her chest feeling as though it was about to rip through her ribcage and burst through her skin. Her mind was moving fast as she thought of the safest escape route. Looking to her side, was her bedside table at arm's reach. Resting silently were her latest medical journal, her page, a glass of water and... a lamp.

Casting a weary glance at the grasshopper, who had so far been immobile, she reached out to her left, extending further and further until the skin holding her arm and shoulder together felt as though it would burst however her fingers were still inches from touching the simple lamp.

Keeping calm, she shuffled her body closer to the edge of the bed whilst watching for any movement made by the grasshopper. All her focus was on the grasshopper and the cold material of the lamp that was mere second away from touching her finger tips.

However, it wasn't the cold lamp that touched her fingers first.

Something light and feathery appeared on her fingers and in surprise Cristina turned to see another grasshopper crawling its way up her index finger. In fright her right arm flew across her chest, turning her body as she moved and frightening the grasshopper on her stomach to scurry off her body and hide underneath the dark sheets.

Cristina, however, failed to notice this as she flung her free hand out and smacked the insect away; a look of absolute terror controlled her face. In the silence of the night, the soft tap of the insect hitting the footboards made her jump and place her hands behind her back thus enabling her body from falling backwards in fright. Something twitched on her hand and she quickly propelled herself off the bed, the light from her lamp capturing the greenish colour of the five grasshoppers now on her bed.

Cristina slapped her arms and kicked her legs in the air to try and get rid of the sensation of the insects running across her body. Her wild black curls flew in all different directions, and as soon as her fit had finished, landed in a mess with strands covering her faces.

Grunting in frustration, Cristina stomped her foot on the floor and instantly shrieked as something else touched her foot. Stumbling against the wall, her hands races against the painted walls until they found the light switched, which was flicked on to reveal the large mass of grasshoppers that had managed to appear on her bed, the floor and now her dressing table.

Turning on her heel, Cristina quickly ripped open her bedroom door and stormed into the kitchen, her bare feet slapped the cold timber as she walked. In the dark, she managed the find the tall cardboard that held a broom and other household cleaning products. Opening the door, Cristina barely had time to register what was happening as grasshopper fell out of the cardboard on to her legs, feet and the kitchen floor.

An almighty scream was all she managed to get out as she ran to her front door, kicking her legs high into the air as she ran to avoid any more of the insects from making contact with her skin. Ripping the door open, she closed it behind her with a loud slam and collapsed against the door, falling to the floor with exhaustion.

Next to her apartment door, a man stuck his head out and looked at Cristina sitting on the hallway floor with only a shirt and underwear on. Noticing her company, Cristina turned to watch the man, still panting from the adrenaline that was still coursing through her body.

"Have a nice night" was all he said with wide eyes, shutting his door and leaving Cristina in the hallway alone.

* * *

**_I didn't really know how to finish this chapter off._**

_**I am sorry about the wait, my 3D life has taken a hold of me with a few things happening out of the blue and school and also trying to think of the perfect prank for the last chapter.**_

_**But thank you for sticking around, every single review has been wonderful and I am grateful that you took the time to read and review my story. It's been wonderful!**_


End file.
